Castles in the air

Nothing that I write down here is truth.

Thats simply because of the nature of mind and the nature of truth.

The only thing I can ever express in this way here is thought. It's kind of like building castles out of air. It's a fluffy representation of my perspective at this place in time.

Trouble is, I believe everything I think, like it is truth. I fall in love with it. I roll around in it. I build my castle and surround it with a moat and set up my life in it and fight to the death for it.

I'm not sure why it's like that.. But that what seems to be.

I have an opportunity in my life, right now to test this theory of castle. I have the catapult ready to fire at a situation I see coming over the horizon. I don't think it matters what it is, but I think if this happens it's gonna be bad.

I have noticed that the castles greatest defence is this way of self fulfilling prophecy. My castle says people don't like me, and for some reason my behaviour after that makes it hard for people to come close to me..  Feels like they don't like me. Know what I mean.

So.. To test my theory of castle. I'm going to lay it down. I see you coming.. You scary situation. I'm going to see my castle. See it very well. Hi there. You are thought. I'm going to choose to lay down judgement. I'm going to choose instead to be. Just to be. I'm going to give my best self to this whole day. (good thing it's only a day. Anybody can just do a day)

I wonder what's going to happen. I have no idea anymore :-)