Context

I have noticed, as I look at people through these rose coloured glasses I wear, that behaviour is often very context driven.

One of our daughters has a friend who is so shy that her parents are worried about her. She spoke so quietly in class that her teachers thought she was slow and transfered her out of the special program they were in.  The thing is.. At our house, around her friends, this girl is confident and loud. Absolutely and instigator! Not in a bad kid way, but almost not the same girl that her parents are worried about.

Think about it! You might notice that you act differently around your boss then you do around your friends. You might speak differently to your children then you would to a stranger.  I notice this a lot where I work around kids. When I tell parents how good their kids are as they come to pick them up they often don't believe me. Those kids who hide behind their parents legs and cry when they leave quite often become strong and confident the moment their parents are out of sight. 

This is something that happens to all of us and everyone we know, but I think it is too often overlooked. I'm sure why this happens is probably pretty complicated since each person is a unique individual, but THAT it happens I think is both interesting and important information.

As we learn about our selves and begin to heal ourselves we can begin to notice what this looks like in us.  We can notice how we feel and act around people in authority, people we have authority over, people we are in relationships with. This is good to notice. Once we become aware of these things then often we start realizing where these feelings and thoughts and behaviours in us come from. This is how we heal. It is like somehow, when we notice our thoughts and feelings without judgement and realize where they come from, the things that don't line up with who we really are just sort of start to fall away.

Another interesting thing can happen as we begin to heal. We can begin to get a better sense of the context of everyone else. Firstly because we often realize that a lot of the things that bother us about other people were actually coming from our own hurt. But also, we can just see more clearly the heart and the struggles of other people once we are not looking through the lens of our own pain.

The ability to see clearly is very valuable. I think it is sometimes called discernment. When you can see clearly, without pain or agenda, then you might be able to see what is really going on in difficult situations. You might find that the solutions that work in one situation are not appropriate in another. I would like to be able to do these things. I'm working on it.