Breakthrough

It's funny. All the time, when the going gets tough, I find myself in a hard place where I have learn. I have to push myself past an impossible place in my understanding and into an unknown scary place. I think this is me coming up against my blind spots.

It's the hardest thing ever because it requires me to realize that I have been wrong (sometimes very wrong) and usually it makes me very sad. I'm hard on myself. Not this time though. This time I am going to be gentle.

It's enavitable I suppose, that I should come to these places. After all, my whole entire understanding of the world, and all of the rules and guidelines that go with it, have all just been made up in my head based on what I have been taught and the experiences I've had. It's not like I'm some sort of super smart perfect person. It's amazing that I have gotten anything right at all!

One of the most difficult and frustrating things for me about these breakthroughs is that it often comes out of some kind of fundamental conflict with another person's world view. My reality does not line up with theirs. I get so mad because.. Why do I always have to be the one who is wrong!? I suppose the answer is, that I'm not always wrong.. It's just that I only get to grow this way when I am.

So it goes.