Letting Go of Thoughts and Moving On

When I look back and think about my journey to now I remember that the first step was the hardest. I remember that I had all these doubts and questions about what I believed.. I wanted to ask those questions and find out the real answers, not just the answers I learned in sunday school.  To do that I had to let go of all the answers that I already held on to. I had to lose my faith. It was the hardest thing that I have ever done.

Now, looking back, I can say that if you seek with an honest heart and an open mind you will be lead down an unbelievable path of learning as far as you are willing to go. But each new step in that path requires you to let go of the steps before.

I remember when I was young, how sure I was about everything. How I had it all figured out, and how everything made perfect sense.  Now I think back on all those things I was sure of before, and do I still think those things? Hardly at all! I have to remember that these wonderful things I am learning now will also have to be put down in their time. It is the way of growing.

I think that is why I am writing here. So that I can trace my journey a little bit, but always to hold lightly and let things go.

Practice makes Perfect

In my life, and in watching Shane's life (and transformation) I am noticing some themes.. Some ways of doing life that keep coming to the foreground. As we add more and more good things to our lives the goodness is becoming more and more distilled and there is this clarity.

As I have been practicing Yoga I have learned what it is to have a practice, and I now realize that these good things we do in our lives everyday to help us live well and learn and grow are also a practice.

To me a practice is something we do regularly on purpose, with effort (but without striving) with an open heart and mind that will passively grow us and change us if we let it.

There are many things that everyone can practice which will help them move forward along their path in a direction of strength and peace and understanding. I am pretty sure that most of these things will help everyone without exception..

Things like..

Healthy nutrition

Good quality sleep

Healthy relationships

Exercise

Meditation

Yoga

Learning

Surrender

There are other things that you can practice that may be more specific to your own personal goals or personality type. These things will also benefit your life! These are specific skills like music, art, dance, massage, fixing a car, poker, writing,  chess, cooking, energy healing... Anything you do, with effort on a regular basis, you can improve upon.

The new things I'm learning also become a part of my daily practice. I try to practice a new thing every month (because it takes a month to build new brain pathways and new habits). It gives me time to see how it changes me and to make adjustments. This month, for instance, I was going to try practicing mindful breathing as much as I could, but it would seem that this is too ambitious for me at this time, so right now I'm just practicing noticing.. Whenever I remember to notice, I take notice of what I'm doing,thinking,feeling.. And I try to remember to breathe (and often have to remind myself to relax)

Another one of my ongoing practices is to remember to just be.. With the people I'm with. Remembering to look at their eyes.. Think about what they are saying (not about other things), and reflecting on what they are saying.. Not reacting to it.

To practice is beautiful because it changes us and causes us to grow!

Secret Santa

Now I will tell you about one of my favourite and most valuable of practices.. Shhh... It's a secret. 

You know how Jesus talked about how when you pray, you should not do so on the street corners were everyone can see how holy you are, but secretly in your closet at home. It's like that.

It is one of the ways I can test things that I'm learning too (kind of like a double blind experiment). Like asking (the universe) for what you need.. And then not telling anyone at all about it.. And just watching and waiting. It is so much more amazing to see the results, then when you say, ask for the thing you need and then putting out your prayer request on Facebook.

It is a way of being smaller and quieter too. Like, doing good things for people without anyone else knowing. 

Oh, oh! Or especially (for me), like when I think I know what someone ought to be doing or thinking, or a way things are supposed to be that I need to change.. Before I say anything or do anything I go all Secret Santa on it. I ask the universe to show them the way, change their mind, change the situation, and always to change me too.. or, give me the obvious opportunity to act.. And then I wait, and watch (and remember, it's Secret Santa).  If I wait quietly its amazing what will happen.

Secret Santa! It's my favourite! 

Testing the Fruit

It can be very scary to move into a place of surrender from a place where we knew how things "should" be. Society (especially religious societies) have some pretty clear ideas about what is good and what is bad. When you move from that place to a place where there is nothing good or bad (things just are), how are you supposed to know what to do? I'm not sure I even really know, to be honest. Most people don't just jump from one way of thinking to another so easily, I don't think, but we tend to cling to our old ideas and release them gradually.. Which is totally fine! You don't want to break your brain.

One way to learn and grow into this new space is by trying  things out and looking at the fruit. It takes a great deal of honesty with ones self and courage to do so, but there is so much to learn if you can!

Things always have pros and cons to them. You just have to evaluate for yourself, are the benefits of things worth the cost or is the cost too much. 

Drinking alcohol - 

benefits.. It's fun.. Releases stress.. Can build relationships.. Can increase creativity.. 

Costs.. hangovers.. Can lead you do do dangerous things.. Can change your personality for the worse.. Can lead to an addiction. 

Now you get to decide.. It is a good thing or a bad thing for you, at this time.

Shane often uses this formula to evaluate his choices.. "Does this thing help me come closer to achieving my long term goals?" I really like that way of testing the fruit.

Testing the fruit of the choices in other people's lives is tricky (maybe not a good idea). It can lead one to anger, sadness or contempt with them if we do not agree with their choices. Also, when some people (most of us) feel like their choices are being judged we might make our choices in defensiveness, which makes it difficult to be as honest with ourselves as we may need to be to make a wise judgment.

Sometimes when I am really not sure I go Secret Santa.. I ask for wisdom and then be quiet and watch.. Often wonderful ideas come from unexpected places.