Being tired and busy
all of the time has done something interesting to my mind. Instead of being able to go through my day mindfully aware of higher
ideas at work, I have been reduced to looping thoughts about the situations
(and people) in my immediate experience.
More and more often I have noticed that I am becoming fixated on mostly
the negative aspects of my life. And
since my mind can only hold on to so much at a time, it seems to my mind that
the negative is all that is.
I still remember
though.. I remember that I think that is how the rest of the world operates,
but that I do not have to be like the rest of the world. I am starting to hear myself think that I
need to DO something to fix the circumstances (and people) around me, but I
REMEMBER that change must always begin with me if it is to be real.
I am bringing myself
back to these pages to bring myself back to the source. To remember all of my lessons with an open
heart, not to carry out some formula that I have figured out in the past, but
let it speak to me to build once again something new. To let go of all of my fabulous ideas so that
I can truly learn. To be remade. Mostly,
to get out of the way.. Be smaller and quieter so that I can be a tool of
whatever it is.. Useful for whatever I am to be useful for.
So here I begin
again. To do some work here.
