Last night I had the most amazing experience! I spent twenty minutes looking into the eyes of my five year old daughter, listening to her tell me the story of her day.. Particularly the part about how she is supposed to have an important telephone call today because the fortune cookie that she had in class told her it was so.
What was remarkable about this to me was that I was actually present there, really listening to what she was saying. My mind wasn't thinking about all of the other things I should have been doing. I wasn't analyzing what she was saying and thinking of how to turn it into some life lesson. I was just there.
I wish I could explain the amazing bliss it was. I could feel her excitement about her day! The sound of her voice was so sweet... And I was so happy to be able to give my whole attention to her and make her feel like she was the only one in the world for me just then.
I felt like all of my life... All of the time I had spent not existing like this.. Was just a waste of my time.
That is what I want to be when I grow up! I want to be the one to look at people in the eyes and really hear them. I want to understand what they think and how they feel and be there with them in that moment. Totally and completely. Here and now.
I want to say I am going to do this and work towards it in some way, but speaking of the future is sort of hollow when you can only operate in the here and now. So all I can say is that right now I am here and now, with me... And also, my dishwasher stayed clean and full all day long. I was to busy being one moment at a time to put away the dishes of the future.
